Here With Me
by scrambledglitz
Summary: Reposted (chapters were screwed up) - Rory's hardest decision was to walk away from Tristan, but can she do it?
1. Forgiving What's Gone

"Hey. It's me again." Rory took a deep breath in. She could smell the grass and the perennial flowers that were growing beautifully all around her. It was so serene and peaceful, with only distant sounds of birds chirping, greeting the new season of spring. 

This was one place where Rory hated and loved at the same time. She loved the feeling of peacefulness, and not the constant flow of action – pacing and always some place to be in a rush. Yet, this place gave her a sense of loss and sadness. 

She took another deep breath, looking at the surroundings around her, taking the beauty of nature into her memory; looking at everything around her except the one thing she wanted to look at. "I couldn't wait for you forever. You know that, right?" Rory looked up to the sky, not wanting to cry at all. She sniffled a bit, and wiped the offending tear away from her cheek. "God, it's not fair. I wish I could wait for you forever." She finally looked down, and the grave stone read – 

Tristan Jarlen Dugray. 

May you rest in peace. 

1985-2008. 

"Mom said that if you loved me as much as you claimed to, then you'd want me to move on. I know you love me. Damn it! I fell in love with you. Is this how you repay me, huh, Tristan?! Are you happy that you finally conquered the Mary?" Rory was angry and saddened the thought of never seeing Tristan again. "I bet you're smirking. God I miss it. There were days when I couldn't stand that smug smirk of yours; I wanted to wipe it off your face. Then I would want to kiss you so badly. I still do. I mean, I still miss you – very much so." She was crying freely, and she took out a kleenex out of her purse and wiped her tears away. 

"I just wanted to say something to you." Her tears fell at the thought of what she had to tell Tristan – what she promised to herself. "It's been five years, Tristan. I know you aren't going to come into the house smiling and twirling me around until we were both dizzy. I know that I won't smell that cologne on your skin, or feel your lips on my body. I know that I won't hear your laugh or your awful singing when you're making breakfast for us. I will never hold you or make love to you again. I know all these things!" Rory was sobbing hard at all the bombardment of her bittersweet times with Tristan. "I know that we aren't going to get married and that you are truly dead. Why is this…it so hard?" 

Rory opened her purse and took out a necklace—with a ring stranded through. 

_"Rory, I've never met anyone like you, nor have I ever fallen in love before. For me, it's so scary because I'm so vulnerable. You…" Tristan took Rory's hand, and held it firmly, gently circling her hand with his thumb. "...have the power to hurt me or give me happiness. So I stand here in front of you, to ask you to make the biggest chance on me…us." Tristan opened his jacket and took out a Tiffany's ring box, opened it, and presented her a white-gold band with a small diamond sparkling at her. "Will you marry me?"_

"I thought that was the beginning for us. Getting married, get a joint banking account, get a mortgage on our first house, maybe get a dog and couple of kids; kids is later… My only problem that I worried over was when we go away for vacation, leaving Sparky, our dog with my mom; she might give the dog to a pet store and run away like she did with Buttercup, the hamster. I thought of those silly thoughts. I never imagined that…that you'd leave me. I know it wasn't your choice. I wish this wasn't so hard." She unclasped the necklace, and took out the ring, laying it on her hand. 

_"Tristan, we're really getting married! I…I can't believe it, It's so surreal." Rory stretched her arm to view her engagement ring better. "It's so sparkly! Hey, maybe we should go to __Hartford__'s Country Club and show off this rock. Then your groupies will know that you're taken!" Rory joked. She wrapped her arms around his neck, while Tristan lifted her off her feet, twirling them lightly, as she kissed him so ever sweetly. _

_"I can't see anything other than you." Rory proclaimed. _

_"I'm glad." Tristan answered. "I love you."_

_"I know." She smiled and took his hand and linked her fingers through his, feeling his engagement ring with her thumb. "I don't want this feeling to ever end."_

_"What feeling?" Tristan asked._

_"This." Rory took his hand and placed it over her heart. "Feel that? It's this feeling I have for you, this…this giddiness, excitement, exhilaration. Everything! Love! I don't know; I just know that I don't want this feeling to ever go away."_

_Tristan placed his hand on her cheek, and said, "It won't. As long as I love you, everything in the world better be right for you. If not, I'll do anything in my power to make it right…that's how much I love you. Because my love for you will never fade, disappear or stray. I will love you with every last breath in me, and that's when we're old, gray-haired, wrinkly and fat. Even when you're ugly…" Tristan joked lightly, "I will love you. I want to grow old with you, and see our grand-children grow up. I want it all." He then kissed her with promises of love and a happy future._

"You bastard, you gave me hope that we will last forever. You promised me that we'd grow old together." Rory fell down to her knees. "Why did you save my life? I wish that bullet hit me, not you. I'd rather die than live without you. Don't you know that's how much I love you?" 

_"Put your hands up, all of you. I don't want any fishy business." The masked robber took several dark bags and handed it over to the tellers demanding to fill it with all the cash from the bank. The robber sardonically laughed, "I forgot to tell you, I disconnected all the phone lines and alarm system."_

_"Hurry up, I don't have time." While the tellers filled his bags, he walked over to the bystanders in the bank and demanded that they hand over all their cash and jewelry. _

_"Look here. I got myself a Tristan Dugray and his fiancée." He took the gun under Rory's chin and lifted her head to meet her eye._

_"Get your hands off of her!" Tristan demanded, getting angry and scared for her. _

_"Nah uh…be a good boy Tristan. Now, isn't she a pretty one. You always did have good taste." The robber's eyes gleamed with lust._

_"I said. Get your hands off of her." Tristan stood up. He didn't want anyone to touch Rory in such manner that the robber was treating her._

_"Hmm… so you like this one. I wonder what's so special about her. You can have any other women; you're rich, fairly good looking guy, power… What is it about her? She any good in bed? Ah! That must be it! I would like a taste of that then." The robber roughly grabbed Rory's arm and lifted her up._

_"You son of a bitch!" Tristan stood up._

_"I said sit!" yelled the robber. "I will shoot her if you come anywhere near me!" He placed his gun at the __temple__ of __Rory__'s head, slightly waving the gun in a teasing manner._

_Just then, Rory bit his arm that was placed in front of her neck, and used her three-inch heel and jabbed it on his foot, running towards Tristan." _

_"Ow! You bitch; I'm going to kill you!" The robber pointed the gun in her direction._

_In that split second when the robber pulled the trigger, Tristan grabbed Rory and pulled her towards his chest and covered her. The entire building of the bank rang with the sounds of the bullet, and Tristan fell down, shot with the bullet hitting the back of his head._

_"Freeze, you are under a rest. Do not move. Drop the gun to the ground lightly and place your hands behind your head." The police had finally come to their rescue…ten seconds too late. _

"I always wondered if it was worth your life over mine. Was it worth it Tristan? To die for me, the most brutal way possible, murder? Did it hurt? I guess I'll never know. I have all these questions, and you can't answer me! It's so damn frustrating. My heart hurts. You promised me that you will always protect me and love me." Rory placed her hand on top of the gravestone. 

"These past five years have been so different. I was in denial, angry, blamed you, blamed me, and blamed that robber, I cried, accepted then grieved for you. I tried to live a life without you. I know I did that before you came along, but as soon as I found you, I felt like there was no life before you. I can't remember it."

Rory took the ring, kissed it, and the pushed it through the soft ground. "I promised myself. I'm so sorry. I just have to move on for my own sanity. This was the whole point of this visit. Past five years I have never really moved on; always thinking of you, crying for you, and visiting you. Today is your fifth year of your death, and it's time, don't you think? I promised him that I won't come anymore. I still love you. Remember that, ok? Wait for me up there. Don't you dare mack on the angels in heaven. I'm sure that there are many pretty angels to hit on, but you remember that I still love you ok? I know I'm selfish to want you to wait for me, while I move on, but I can't stand the idea that you're not mine anymore. How ironic! It's just that, here, on earth, it's different. If I was dead and you were alive, I'd want you to move on. So I guess its goodbye for now."

Rory rose up, wiped the dirt off her pants. "Wish me luck, Tristan. I'm getting married tomorrow."

Jesses walked behind her, placed his hand on her shoulder, kissed her temple and led her away from Tristan's grave site. "Hey, Rory. I'm sure he'll understand."

The End.


	2. Walking Away

If you liked the first part, and don't want to ruin the moment, I guess, you don't have to read the next couple/few chapters. Someone said I should do a sequel to this piece, instead I decided to make this a longer fic. 

Rory looked at the mirror. She was wearing a beautiful spaghetti-strap wedding dress; corset at the top, with beautiful lily-beaded crystals, that flared out like a flower, with a little train behind her. Her hair was coiffed to perfection, her makeup flawless. She was the epitome of a beautiful bride on her wedding day. Her veil covered her sadden eyes; her glossed lips slightly parted could not form a smile. 

"What am I doing?" Rory whispered to herself. The full size mirror reflected a bride, and yet she felt like she was at a funeral.  

"Rory, honey…" Lorelai opened Rory's dressing room door. "You decent?" When Lorelai entered the room, she was speechless. "Wow. You look…beautiful. My baby girl all grown up. She's ready to marry the man of her dre… She's ready to get married today." Lorelai was ready to say the old cliché when she stopped short and remembered that Rory's man of her dreams was dead to the world. 

"What's wrong, sweetie pie?" Lorelai asked. She knew that this was hard for Rory. Before Tristan's fatal death, Rory could only talk about how excited she was to be Mrs. Tristan Dugray and their upcoming marriage. 

_"Mom!__ This is your only child back from __New York__!" Rory yelled. "Guess who I brought?!" _

_"Coffee?"__ Lorelai asked upstairs, running down and greeted by a person, and her face fell dramatically. "Oh, it's you, Bible Boy. Sigh." Lorelai was greatly disappointed._

_"Rory, darling, if you love mommy, you bring coffee." _

_"Mom, be nice."_

_"I am." She huffed, but right away she smiled and hugged Tristan. "How was the trip?" Lorelai led them towards the living room couch where they all sat._

_"It was ok…" Tristan said, but was cut off by a large scream._

_"Ahhh!!!__ Rory, you're engaged!" Lorelai jumped up and down smiling hysterically._

_"I am, aren't I! That's why we came over as soon as possible to tell you." Rory and Lorelai hugged, and cried and Lorelai went over to Tristan to congratulate him. _

_Rory went over to Tristan's side and his arm was automatically on her waist, and his eyes on Rory, adoringly. Lorelai saw that this was it. This was the man for Rory; whom Rory loved and was loved back with every fiber of his being._

"I…" Rory faltered, her head gazed down, and a tiny tear escaped her eyes and fell to the ground. "I feel cheated. I always thought my first marriage, my first wedding would be with Tristan; hell I thought I would be with him for the rest of my life."

"I know."

Rory continued on as if Lorelai did not talk. "I promised Jess, you, me that I would move on with my life. I can't do it. It'd be wrong to marry Jess right now." Rory turned around. "I just can't."

"You sure, Ror? Because Tristan would want you to move on with your life, you know." Lorelai asked.

"My life would be all a lie. I couldn't life with myself and to Jess. It isn't fair." With that determination glint in Rory's eyes, she lifted her gown to walk out the door and through that door was where Jess, minister and guest were all waiting. As soon as she opened the door, the organ with the Wedding March began. Instead of a gentle, graceful walk, Rory rushed to Jess.

"I can't do this. Forgive me." She took off her engagement ring and gave it back to a stunned Jess. Rory then lifted her gown once more to run out of the church, and got into her limo and directed the chauffeur to drive to the similar place where she felt that peace and sadness – Tristan's grave site. 

T.B.C - Sorry guys, I decided to extend this piece. I had some ideas forming in my head and I had to right it down. I would really appreciate more reviews since all kinds are welcomed! Thanks for reading.


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